Who am I to think I’m small?
Before I begin
This story is from the series Therapy writing(s), and if you want to get a broader context, please visit the above list and read the rest.
By studying people’s behavior with mirrors, you can understand a lot about them. Do they stare, analyze, pose, laugh, or run, when they see a mirror?
What do you think of when you look into a mirror?
Mirrors are fascinating both as objects and as metaphors for your inner self analyzation by checking your exterior appearance. You probably noticed from the title the “Snow White” reference. This was just to remember how old the mirror object is 🙂
“The earliest known manufactured mirrors (approximately 8000 years old) have been found in Anatolia (south central modern-day Turkey). These were made from obsidian (volcanic glass), had a convex surface and remarkably good optical quality. Mirrors from more recent periods have been found both in Egypt and Mesopotamia and still later in China and in the New World. In each of these areas, mirrors were in use by approximately 2000 BC or 4000 years ago.” — from here
Now leaving alone the funny ideas about the object itself, I will focus on the metaphoric side and the way we reflect ourselves and be reflected…
Here I will go through some thoughts and intimate ideas about the simple gesture of looking into the mirror. This writing is for me to ventilate after a hard week, and if you relate, this is also for you to get some inner inspiration.
Already started
I am rarely looking in the mirror. I am trying to do this exercise mentally because physically I don’t like what I see. I get older, I am not in shape, and there are tons of things I would like to change and will change at some point but I don’t have the energy to start them.
My mental exercise of “looking” in the mirror goes like this. I lay down on a bed or sofa (something comfortable), close my eyes and begin visualizing my body. This is also accompanied by calming my breathing. When I can fully see my body in my mind, I start questioning myself about particular things, and after that, I generalize them.
Was I good today?
Did I act correctly in that X situation(s)?
What could I have done better?
Do I usually do things like this?
Am I starting to be nervous all the time?
Am I a good person?
…
This goes on for ten to fifteen minutes, and the scope of this exercise is not to get answers, the answers are popping in your head already, but to confront your questions and your intimate moment with yourself.
The goal is to “look” in the mirror and surface your emotions through easy questions, visualization, and breathing exercises.
I am not sure if this is mindfulness or meditation (I did not give it a name) is just a mental exercise that can start very uncomfortable, but while practiced, it starts to feel like a cleanup process for your mind. (at least, this is how I perceive it)
Just to clarify, I’m not a mental expert, and this is not something researched by others (I think). It’s something that helps me make piece, in a safe zone, with my days.
Also, while wandering around this subject, I found that there is a type of meditation called Mirror Meditation/Gazing. (this is a nice read about it if you want to understand/try it)
If you feel that this can help you, give it a try, otherwise, you can use techniques like Mirror Meditation. (eyes wide opened on the subject — you)
Before I leave
Who am I to think I’m small?
Usually, we are more than critiques of ourselves. We tend to punish and over-exaggerate our flaws. This is destructive and can deepen your bad state instead of releasing it and making you feel better. Stop it, and give forgiveness a chance.
Forgive yourself. Take a step backward and distance yourself from yourself, maybe using a mirror, and ask yourself: “who am I to think I’m small?”
While this question is more poetic than intended, the scope of it is to remind you that you are not (the one) to judge yourself but to love, embrace and accept what and who you are.
Take care, until next time!